Today is Day 8 of the challenge and I must say, I kinda like this challenge.
This might be a bit weird, writing to/about you after a very long time. I know we did not end on a good note but do not fret, this is not what this letter is about. If anything, I want to thank you. Not to be petty or shady, but I truly want to thank you.
I want to thank you for loving me the best you could. We were too young to understand what love meant. We thought love was the sweaty palms, butterflies in our tummies and telling each other we love each other 20 times a day. We thought love was just a feeling and when it fizzled out, we decided we did not love each other anymore. I know I pulled the plug first, and even though I hurt you, I think it was for the best. I am not saying this so that I feel better, I am saying this because that decision reshaped our future for the best. You have a family now, so I have heard and I am here preparing for my own. We were meant to be in each other’s lives for a season and in that season I meant every word I said.
I want to thank you for being the first guy to tell me I was beautiful. You said it so effortlessly, and not because you wanted anything but because it was true. It took me a while to realise but thank you for planting that seed in me. Thank you for your attention to detail, you made me realise everything about me matters. The way I pout when I am sad, the way I bite my tongue when I concentrate. You appreciated every part of me and that has been one of my standards ever since. Thank you for teaching me how to communicate, you taught me I do not always have to talk and even when I was quiet, you listened to my silence.
I want to thank you for being patient with me, we were both teenagers when we fell in love. You were patient enough to help me grow and understand myself, I love how we promised never to go to bed angry. How we would talk things over the dura wall until my dad came back and I had to go back to the house. Thank you for trusting me with your feelings. You trusted me enough to cry, complain, pout, laugh and wallow. I was too young to understand but you were the first example of a man who is in touch with his emotions I ever experienced. I do not think you even knew that it would help me understand that men are mere human beings who want to be loved and held too.
I am grateful for how you loved me out loud, how you made an effort to make me smile. You are literally the first person to believe in my writing. Out of all my exes, you are the only one who knew I loved writing and invested time in reading them. Thank you so much.
I know I might go into my next relationship with baggage from my childhood, past relationships etc, but when I think about how you impacted my life, I think I will be bringing something positive and organic.
I wrote you a poem about 5 years ago when it came to my attention that we would never be together again. I cried and if I am being honest, it was mostly because you had moved on first before me but hey, we move. I will attach the poem below but I pray God blesses you and enlarges your territory. I have not talked to you in over 8 years nor do I want to start, but just know you changed my life for the better.