Day 15 and the challenge is to write to our younger self.
Firstly, I would like to thank you for being you. Thank you for being brave enough to find your own identity in a world where everyone and everything is stereotyped and defined. I know it has not been easy, and it will not always be easy, but you have been strong through it all.
I am afraid I never became or ever will be a veterinarian, this was after we watched Anaconda and realised I also had to treat snakes. I must say, we have not thought about it since. I did not accomplish most of the goals you put on your vision board. I have not travelled as much as I thought I would have at this age, but I have managed to travel the world through books. Yes, I am a geek and we love it. Sounds cheesy but you have grown so much from that experience.
I want you to know that you are healing. You are healing from your childhood, though you still have abandonment issues and trust issues, you have slowly opened yourself to trusting and exploring. You are learning not to be too hard on yourself because babe, you did the most. You are trusting in your natural beauty, and you are now exploring makeup. I know you were made to believe that it was wrong but girl, listen to what God is saying to you.
You do not have the car of your dreams, nor the one bedroomed flat with a balcony, but you are healthy. You have a thousand things in carts on online shops, you prioritise tithe and bills before anything (good job!) and you roll on a tight budget. I know this might be disappointing because as per your vision board, you would have been making millions and going out for dinner with friends ( you do not have a lot now) but I am glad fate took over.
Do not fret, God works in mysterious ways, He has shown us so many times and I know he still has a few blessing awaiting. Apparently, reality will hit you that we can not all live according to the world’s standards because He blesses us differently and at his own time.
I know all your life you have been confused about God, you have always seen Him as an old guy just waiting to smite you or is always angry at you. Beloved, you will learn that He is loving, patient, kind and has always been there. You will learn to have your own personal relationship with Him and not only be religious.
You will learn life is not straight forward but there are guaranteed ups and downs, you will not like them but they will shape you. I am about to say something that you only thought of hearing about or screenshot because you wanted to recite the words because you never heard them:
I love you so much. I am proud of you. I choose you. I need you and you are a good person.
Rudo (a bit older and forever young at heart)❤️