The Day I Gave Up..

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Day 16 and even though today’s challenge is the easiest, it has been the hardest for me. I guess it also came as a wake-up call that I do not take time to breathe and reflect. I am always on the go, and because of that, I think I have missed out on a lot of things without realising.

Rather than write about something I have learnt, I decided to take the other route of something I have given up. I did not realise how much of a big deal it was then but now I understand. I gave up being my own enemy.

One night 3 years ago, I remember sitting in my bed, scrolling through Instagram, at 10 pm with a big Tupperware full of jollof rice. I specifically remember stopping midway and busting into tears. Why was I not like them? I asked my self as I continued looking at the pictures of the beautiful girls who were showing their flat tummies, clear faces and gorgeous smiles. I admit, I was jealous and I realised I was more insecure than I realised. I recollect putting my spoon down and looking at myself in the mirror. My face was riddled with acne, blackheads and my stomach looked like I was about to give birth.

I was disgusted by myself and there was no one else to blame but myself. I tried to comfort myself by blaming it on the 12-hour shifts and not having time to exercise. How was I going to stop eating after work when I finished very late? How was to exercise when I did not have the equipment? I tried to convince myself there was nothing I could do to look better but deep down I knew there was away. I remember eating the last of my food (because you do not waste food in a black household) and began to research what I could eat and at what times. I began to look for activities I. could do that would help me be more active and that I would squeeze into my busy schedule. I GAVE UP FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF AND AN UNHEALTHY LIFESTYLE.

Unfortunately, I can not find full pictures of myself at the gym but I ended up going and taking classes because I can not stand cardio or going to the gym on my own.

I began to take care of my skin and research on the kind of products that were good for me. I dedicated a whole year to using Lush and started having facials. I realise I was being my worst enemy, and even though the Instagram models have enhancements and photoshop, I had to look my best for myself. For me to feel confident in who God made me to be because God wants us to live life abundantly. I realised that my body is a temple of God and should be taken care of and nourished.

At my trial, lol, she insisted we take a picture and she has been my skin consultant since.

I still struggle at times, for example, I have not been to the gym in a while because of unexpected events, but as I am writing this, I am actually itching to go. I do not know if it is genuine or if it is because of the lockdown. However, I no longer eat tubs of rice after 8 pm, I now eat more greens, drink more water and am trying to like more fruits besides watermelons and mango. I have a friend who is a healthy junkie and every time I visit her, she only feeds me greens and smoothie. Even though I visit her for 2 days, she always insists we go to the gym.

Breakfast.
The kind of meals my friend cooks for me when I visit her.

I realised to be my best self, I had to believe in who I am and whose I am and that I deserve the best in life, including clear skin and maybe, just maybe abs.

UNTIL TOMORROW!

5 thoughts on “The Day I Gave Up..”

  1. “I realised that my body is a temple of God and should be taken care of and nourished…” – This is the best and biggest motivation ever to take care of yourself. because it calls of responsibility… you know he that is faithful in little will be granted even more. This was a great read. Thank you for sharing 🙂

  2. “I realised that my body is a temple of God and should be taken care of and nourished…” – This is the best and biggest motivation ever to take care of yourself. because it calls of responsibility… you know he that is faithful in little will be granted even more. This was a great read. Thank you for sharing 🙂

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