I have been working on keeping a positive mindset. Expecting good things to happen and having hope that things will turn for my good. I was looking forward to your call. Believing that this would be a refresher, talking to someone new and experiencing you.
Hours turned to days, days to weeks. I slowly lost interest but it always gnarled at me why you did not call. Of course, my insecurities decided to pay a visit on those sleepless nights.
“Maybe you are not enough Rudo.”
” Could be you are not that pretty, I mean, look at you.”
” Tone it down, you can be intimidating.”
The voices in my head told me this as I tried to decipher what could have made you not follow through. I am a hopeless romantic, so sometimes I stay too much in my head. I played out each scenario, and with each play, I told myself I wasn’t for you. This is how I get over breakups, I tell myself I was not for them and vice versa. I gear up and look forward to the next one.
So, John, I do not hate or hold a grudge for not calling, I accepted I was not for you and wished you well.
With love, Rudo.