Reintroducing myself

I thought it wise to reintroduce myself (honestly, it is because I have writer’s block- I know it is said to be a myth but my creative bulb is out at the moment) as I have noticed my “About Me” page barely has anything about me and I saw it suitable for those who read and follow my blog, to get to a sense of who I am and who I am becoming. First and foremost, of course, Hello and how are you today? My name is Rudo Diana Mazvita Manyere, quite a mouth full but you can call me Rudo which literally translates to Love in English. I am a Zimbabwean, born and raised- I am of the born-free generation; those born after the liberation struggle. We are characterised as entitled and “disrespectful” when we question the system but that is a conversation for another day.

I am the middle child and I come with most of the characteristics “bestowed” upon a child who is not a mistake (I joke with my siblings about this, do not try it with yours). I am learning to show affection and build friendships with my siblings, I understand for some this might seem odd, but as I am maturing I see a pattern where siblings do not even see eye to eye. This is due to differences and misunderstands or something I might not understand but I have committed to being there and being present as much as I can (or circumstances allow me) for them. They are my first best friends and my original day ones-LITERALLY. I pray God strengthens our bond and we love, rejoice, fellowship and be patient with each other, without reproach (same with my parents). Just in case you are wondering what my siblings look like, they all look like me but we range from whitish chocolate, caramel and dark chocolate- me, of course, being the chocolate.

For as long I can remember, I have always loved school- the learning part but not the waking up at 5:30 am part. The idea of learning and knowing amuses me. I am slightly intrigued by how people think and dialogues-its sounds strange but I enjoy seeing people engage in conversation (though I rarely partake unless invited), what they say and how they say it. I think this is why I am drawn to writing, I love the idea of creating something in my head with different characters, different ideologies and different discourses. Writing is my escape, my happy place where I do not have to follow a certain structure or any rules. It is not always good nor is it always bad but I enjoy the growth and the reassurance of knowing I can improve.

My relationship with God is very essential. I slack ALL of the time- I mean daily. I struggle with building and being strong in my faith. It is a daily process which I do not always enjoy but need-the pruning being the excruciating part. I struggle with my spiritual life on a daily basis but I am forever grateful for God’s grace. He saw it fit to send His Son to die and love me unconditionally without failing me. I fail to understand how God is patient with me when I run from Him, how He still loves me even when I disobey Him. He is the best part of my life and I am made in His image. This revelation has helped me fathom that my identity is not what I have or what I achieve-but it is in Who created me.

I have struggled with low self-esteem from a young age and I have always thought my identity is in how people think of me. It took me a while to step out of that mentality, to accept myself for who I am. It is a daily process getting to love myself in my natural state but I challenge myself to face the reality of who I truly am not who I want to be seen as. It has been a challenge loving myself with short hair and without thinking I look like a boy or ugly. I still have days I do feel that way, but I am reminded whose image I am made of. I do not like taking pictures because I always feel I look awkward and my posing skills are way off, its so sad. I am a dark-skinned, head-strong (often confused with stubborn but there is a fine line between the two), beautiful, witty and smart (let’s not argue about this). I am getting to know my own strengths and submitting my weaknesses to God-which include control and fear of the unknown. I LOVE to read-I have started a book collection which comprises of different genres; and in the meantime, I am reading Becoming by Michelle Obama (my day book) and Rich People Problems by Kevin Kwan, which is the last book of the Crazy Rich Asians trilogy (my night book). I aspire to be a screenwriter/writer and I pray about it every day. It is not a career path that is accepted nor recognised as a “job” in the African community-so I am actually a disappointment to some of my elderly family members.

I am quite outspoken about certain issues that affect my day to day life, for example; racism, inequality, discrimination, etc. I subscribe to the notion that people are the same (you do not need to be Einstein to know this), and if you feel you are superior based on the colour of your skin or bank account; then I seriously recommend a MasterClass on How To Be A Human Being With Common Sense. I have been told I am uptight (which I might be depending on your point of view, for example, I do not believe in any form of physical contact before marriage), stubborn and all the name calling that comes with not abiding by everyone’s rules. I think I am a pretty funny person though,I also love giving people gifts (which once got me in trouble with my father),I am fond of babies and toddlers but only if I can give them back to their parents, amused by animations (my favourite movie genre),I love the idea of travelling (its an idea because my bank account will not allow me to be great), I am a pretty good friend-I commit to my friendships and I try to put in work as in any relationship and I love sorbets (I do not have a sweet tooth).

I hope this helps you to get to know me a little better and you might also tell my energy and views from my posts. Someone told me some of my posts sound angry- of which they do because I do get angry at how people are treated and how I am “advised” not to “act” angry because I do not want to be labelled an angry black woman. When the shoe fits, I happily strut in it but I won’t kick you though- maybe nudge but not kick (I cannot fight).

I do not really know how to close off this post, so till I post again.BYE!